To Be Like Her

How can we be like Mary, with all our imperfections and sins? 

In Lourdes, Mary did not appear in a beautiful place like a garden full of flowers or in a beautiful cathedral; she appeared in a place used as a garbage dump. If she, the Immaculate, humbled herself and appeared in such a place, couldn’t she use us, even with our imperfections, as a way of being close to those who need her?

An idea came to me one day while cooking dinner with a friend as she asked me why I cooked in a certain way. My prompt response was, “Because that’s how my mom used to do it.” I reflected on how automatic some of my actions are because I learned them from my mother. Then my thoughts went to Mary, our Heavenly Mother, and I thought of how wonderful it would be if all my actions were likewise, automatically inspired by her.

Chiara Lubich encouraged us to reflect on the titles given to Mary in the Litany of Loreto, and to live them in some way. So, I set out on a ten-day journey: to pick one title each day, reflect on it briefly and set a goal that I try to live it in a special way that day. The ten-day experience was very powerful for me. So, let me share my reflections on the steps along the way I took. Perhaps they will inspire you to create your own journey, longer or shorter, with some of the other titles in the Litany. 

Day 1—Morning star

I will try to imitate Mary by being that morning star that stands out in the dark sky as a soft and silvery light, illuminating all those dark moments of the day—those times that because of a difference in opinions, or sensitivities, or harsh words by others or mine, relationships are clouded and soured.

How would I be that light?

By putting on an attitude of the Gospel’s love, a pure love that will reflect through my eyes and my whole being.

Day 2—Comfort of the afflicted

Today I will live in such a way that people around me will find comfort in their distress. Each time they see me, they see a spiritual presence of Mary, the presence of a heart that understands their suffering.

Day 3—Cause of our joy

There are many ways in which we can bring joy around us. Perhaps by simply having a good sense of humor, laughing at ourselves or at a good joke, like St. Philip Neri.

When I asked Mary how I could imitate her in being the cause of joy, the carol “Joy to the World” came to mind and instantly I realized that Jesus in our midst is the greatest joy that I can bring: Mary gave Jesus physically, but we can strive to bring his spiritual presence among us. Today I will try to love in simple small acts, I’ll try to make someone laugh, I’ll give a smile to someone who I don’t know, all with the intention of loving Jesus in each person and giving my contribution to bringing his presence among us.

Day 4—Mother of Mercy

Today I will try to be more patient and merciful with those whom I meet throughout the day. Not only those who I am physically in contact with, but also those who I have to correspond with emails or over the phone, especially with those who might upset and annoy me.

Day 5—Seat of wisdom

I will ask God to give me wisdom today.

“Mary is called the ‘Seat of Wisdom,’ not because she spoke, not because she was a Doctor of the Church, not because she was a famous professor, not because she founded a university. She is the ‘Seat of Wisdom’ because she gave Christ, incarnate wisdom, to the world. It is the same for us: we will have wisdom if we live in such a way that Jesus is in us and among us.” (Chiara Lubich)

Day 6—House of gold

One day I entered the chapel and saw that the candle was almost extinguished, but at the same time the small flame was still shining beautifully. That tiny and weak flame gave light to the candle holder making it shine more beautifully than usual. I looked at the image of Mary, close to it, and asked, “How can my tiny light shine like this today? Which title should I choose?” 

House of Gold! What is the gold in me? It’s the spiritual life of Christ in me. The more I love him in those whom I meet, the more my house (the temple of the Holy Spirit) will shine like gold!

Day 7—Tower of Ivory

I will ask God for the grace of growing in the virtue of fortitude. I want to imitate Mary in her strength, in her going beyond all fears. I will try to imitate her in her “Stabat Mater” at the foot of the cross, alone with God, in the midst of tribulations and deep suffering, and I will try to put love where I find none. 

Day 8—Refuge of sinners

We are all sinners. Whoever interacts with me today should feel a welcoming non-judgemental presence—someone who gives them a sense of safety or protection.

Day 9—Queen of peace

I can create a peaceful environment around me, at home, at work, in every activity. Not only in the way I treat others but also in taking care of my place of work and my home, keeping it clean and harmonious, as I imagine Mary did at the house of Nazareth.

Day 10—Spiritual vessel

This metaphor refers to a person who is receptive.

In 2 Timothy 2:20-25 we read: “In a large household there are vessels not only of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for lofty and others for humble use. If anyone cleanses himself of these things, he will be a vessel for lofty use, dedicated, beneficial to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So turn from youthful desires and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord with purity of heart.”

Today I want to be a vessel for a noble use! How can I do that? I will be attentive to the voice of the “master of the house” during prayer, listening to him in my heart, and throughout the day searching him in each person that I meet.