Photo by Bilanol
The season of Valentine’s Day often brings back memories of sitting around the kitchen table with my brother and sister preparing boxes of (cheap) Valentine’s greetings for each classmate in our elementary school grade, forcing the tiny cards into the too-tight flimsy envelopes.
But my most cherished memory is when my father announced he would prepare his own box of similar cards for his law school faculty colleagues. With shameless and childlike simplicity, he placed a Valentine’s Day greeting into the mailbox of each colleague. A short time later, one of these colleagues showed up at Dad’s office door with tears in his eyes. He was going through a messy divorce and had thought that no one would remember him that day, until he received Dad’s card.
To this day, the memory remains like a kind of prompt in my psyche, not only for its wide embrace, but also as a reminder for how non-transactional and unexpected gestures of kindness help to strengthen the fabric of our daily lives and relationships.
So as Valentine’s Day approaches, I ask myself, who among my family, friends, and colleagues might need a boost of recognition, care, or love?
Recently, I have been humming Stevie Wonder’s superhit from the 1980s, “I Just Called to Say I Love You.” The lyrics vividly depict the power of reaching out to verbalize our love for others, not because of a holiday or special occasion, but simply because we care.
Like, for instance, the other day when one of my colleagues called to say his tire blew out on a curb beneath the snow and ice, and so he’d be late for work. He was waiting not far from my house for the road assistance truck to come help him change the tire. So what should I do—rush to cover what he was set to do that afternoon? Or, go be present with him in the drama? Choosing the less “transactional” and more “relational” route, I arrived in time to buy him a veggie burger as they finished to mount the spare.
The woman in the sandwich shop was so touched by our friendship that she gave us each a free peach tea. And the whole afternoon was lightened by the joy of doing everything together, knowing we have each other’s back, even amidst unexpected challenges. To paraphrase Stevie, I just stopped by to say how much I care.
So as Valentine’s Day approaches, I ask myself, who among my family, friends, and colleagues might need a boost of recognition, care, or love? Who might appreciate a gesture of kindness? And in so doing, who knows how my own battery pack of love, light, and energy might be recharged?
